Arrivals and Departures

Arrivals and Departures

Our dear fiends Dan and Lisa became grandparents for the first time last night while we slept.  I remember the night Drew, our first grandchild, was born. The deep warmth inside, the sense that all is right in the world, feels like it must burst out in celebration.  There is nothing quite like the arrival of this bundle of love, a grandchild.  We rejoice with them and look forward to watching Dan become putty in his granddaughter Caroline’s tiny hands.

We received a call early this morning as Jan and I sat on our back porch listening to the rain, saying our morning prayers, and reading our daily readings.  While Dan and Lisa’s grandbaby was making her grand entrance last night our friend Mary Rainey made her grand entrance into the presence of Jesus.  We celebrate again, but this celebration is harder because it doesn’t bring deep warmth and a feeling that all is right in the world.  This celebration comes with a deep sense of loss and a world at odds with what is intended.

This juxtaposition of arrival and departure reminds me of a day last summer in the sacred space of my fathers hospital room as he lay just hours away from his long awaited day of glory.  He had suffered a massive heart attack five days earlier, rallied for a couple of days allowing for sweet good byes, last words, and long hugs from those he loved most.  Now he was unconsciousness and lay peacefully in his bed.  The family had gathered in his room and my daughter in law placed her laptop on the table beside him.  It was an unbelievable moment as she played us the ultrasound video, taken that morning, of her new baby five months into its journey to join the family.  The 3-D ultrasound image flickered across the screen and we oohed and aahed at fingers, toes, the beating heart, and then sat in stunned silence as little “Katherine” turned and looked us in the eye.

Some one asked the question, “In the midst of sadness like this, how do you balance remembering the past and looking forward to what is new?”  What a great question.

It will take someone with more wisdom than me to answer that question.  I guess I wonder if balancing is really the issue here.  How can you possibly balance the home going of saints like Mary and Lolo, my Dad? And how can you ever begin to anticipate the joy, the hope, the new life in the Katherines and Carolines given as the Saints fade away. 

Could it be it is not about balance?  How can you possibly balance the life, relationships, and memories of one deeply known and loved with all that will be new?  Maybe it is not an exchange of one for the other but a wholeness encompassing both that somehow, in ways we can never understand, fills us more deeply than we can imagine.  Maybe it is about hope and receiving…the memories and the expectations.

The words to a song come to mind.  Maybe you know the tune and can sing along.  It gives me chills to sing these words.

You give and take away,

You give and take away.

You give and take away,

Blessed be Your name, O Lord.

Blessed be Your Holy Name.

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy.  Blessed be Your Holy Name!