Papa is Awesome

I was holding my granddaughter in my lap at a restaurant with my wife, my kids, and my grandkids a while back.  She was not the least interested in the adult conversation going on at the table so I was entertaining her by making “jewelry” for her out of the paper wrapper that covered the straws.  She was particularly taken with the paper wrapper ring I made for her.  Holding up her hand to show it off she turned to her grand mother and uttered the words that made my day, “Jan-Jan, Papa is awesome!”

Now I certainly like to think of myself as awesome, though I would admit that this isn’t where I live.  I am far more inclined to see or feel my “less than awesomeness.”  I know that my grand daughter was not addressing at any great depth who I am with her words, but nevertheless, I loved hearing her say the words, “Papa is awesome.”  One of the reasons we call them grand children, I guess, is because they think we are awesome. 

I would be foolish to think that a three year old has any real concept of how awesome I am or am not.  But hey, in her limited experience and in that particular moment, I was awesome to her.  Her expression of it in the moment felt good to me knowing full well that it comes from a limited perspective that is trite even though coming from the heart.  (Paper wrapper rings make me awesome? Really?)  But you know, one of the really cool things about three year olds is that they are not particularly concerned about being trite, they are much more inclined to be real.  They know the freedom of expressing what they feel in the moment and her freedom blesses me.

I’ve noticed that my “maturity” cramps my freedom to express genuine feelings from the heart to my Abba. (Papa)  I feel silly or trite or worse, embarrassed to tell Him He is awesome.  There is no doubt that my perspective and experience of Him is as limited as my grand daughter’s is of me.  Given the order of things, I also suspect that it gives Him just as much pleasure when I feel the inclination and the freedom to express that He is awesome.  In truth on my best days, when I am most aware and perceptive, when my heart is right, when I thinking my deepest thoughts, and I’m feeling free to say what wells up in my soul, by all comparison to what is true about an infinite God who is full of steadfast love and faithfulness... I am no less trite than my grand daughter.  But He created me for just that; to say in every way I can, including mere words, Papa you are awesome!

If I say it well and often, maybe I can be for Him a grand child.


**The incident described above actually happened four years ago.  I was reading through an old journal and ran across my entry describing the above and decided to share.  Hope you enjoy it.