Have a Heart, Donate a Kidney?

In March of this year I lay in a hospital bed contemplating the events of the preceding few hours, a surprise diagnosis by my cardiologist of four blocked coronary arteries and the scheduling of my open heart surgery at 7am the next morning.  My son, married and the father of four children, came by to see how I was doing and broke the news that in  January he had begun the process of being tested to see if he was a match to donate a kidney to the husband of a coworker.  It was the first either his mother or I were aware of what he was contemplating and he had not intended to tell us unless things had looked like he might be a match.  With my impending surgery, he felt compelled to broach the subject and wanted to know my thoughts.

Mark  assured us that he would make no decisions until my outcome was known and further noted that there were many hurdles for him to jump before he would even be a candidate.  Unknown to us that was only half the story.

Tony found out in his twenties that he had a genetic problem with his kidneys that would in time cause them to fail.  As his kidneys failed and he moved inexorably through the progression of testing and matching with hopes of finding a donor he, his sweet wife, their son Ezra and the extended family experienced the roller coaster ride of hope, then dashed hopes repeatedly as potential donors were found and then lost for various reasons.  Once getting all the way to the final step, the last conference, two days before surgery day only to have the donor deemed unacceptable.  He had reached the stage where he would have to go into dialysis soon if a match was not found and beginning dialysis would create more negatives for a later kidney donation.

Last November while contemplating Tony’s plight, Mark heard a distinct voice say, “You are a match?”  At the time there were two other folks going through the match process, so Mark, a father with a wife and four children chose to lay low and see how those prospects played out.  By January both prospects found they were not matches and Mark was continuing to feel the devine nudges that became hard to ignore so he began the process to see if he would be a match.  He did not tell Tony or the family that he was doing it, not wanting to create a false hope if he did not indeed match.

A month after my surgery following my granddaughter’s violin recital we were introduced to a delightful young man who was also in the recital and his parents.  As we walked away from the conversation, my son informed us we had just met the prospective recipient of his kidney donation.  When  you meet the sweet wife, the delightful son and the the man who desperately wants to live and care for his family and then you ask yourself the question, “If that were me, would I hope for one willing to sacrifice for me?” It is difficult, even as an anxious, cautious,  parent to hold your son back from what he feels compelled to do.

To make a long story short, I sat his morning in the surgery waiting room, our family with Tony’s sweet wife and family while the surgeons transferred my son’s kidney to his friend. We shared stories of two journeys that God has woven together, marveled, laughed, shed some tears, and prayed.

Psalm 112 was my Psalm for the day, below is what I read and my journal entry for the day...

Psalm 112
1 Praise the Lord!
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord,
who greatly delights in his commandments!
2 His offspring will be mighty in the land;
this generation of the upright will be blessed.

"His offspring will be mighty in the land..." My son is at this moment in surgery donating a kidney to the husband of a lady who works with him.  In the words of a friend to Jan, "her mother's heart is worried and her Christian heart is proud."  This Dad's heart feels the same.  It is such a blessing to see your son's heart desire to give life to another and to consistently take his place in the generation of the upright.

The Psalm continues...
7 He is not afraid of bad news;
his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord.
8 His heart is steady; he will not be afraid,
9 He has distributed freely; he has given to one in need..

My son is mighty in the land and I am a proud and grateful Dad.

Thank you, Father, that I can rest knowing he is in Your hands...I feel the strength of Your presence.  We intrust all who are dear to us to Your never failing love and care for this life and the life to come, knowing that You will do for Mark and Tony far more than we can desire or pray for.

Thanks be to God.

Both men are resting well tonight,  I say again, thanks be to God.


**Comments heard today.
Dr. Scott: Tell Mark he can’t do this again.
April (Wife):Tony (Recipient) said the first thing he wants to know when he wakes up is how Mark is doing?